Reflections on Captured Memory (2022)

HI-8 + DIGITAL VIDEO, COLOR

A personal rumination on my relationship, or lack thereof, with my mother. When I turned 21 in September of 2021, I discovered a 8mm video tape documenting a trip to Vietnam my mother and I took in 2003. Seeing my mother so youthful and content felt like I was watching a stranger. Then I realized she was just that: a stranger. In stereotypic fashion, my immigrant mother raised me with an iron fist, controlling and overbearing. Often times crass and blunt for the sake of academic success and a prosperous future. Yet, I felt disconnected from her, like her love for me was conditional as if my existence was an investment. I knew nothing personal about her and she knew nothing of me. But still, I felt myself enthralled by the instinctual and unconditional love I have for her and my memory of her. In this process of reflection I utilized found Hi-8 tape footage, images from a visual synthesizer I built, and excerpts from Ocean Vuong’s novel On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous to explore different approaches to video and memory connected by personal and emotional registers. Premiered at the 2022 Philadelphia Asian American Film Festival.